


Making It Look Easy

by spottedotter



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort, Context in my fics barely exists apparently, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Takes place during the Peace Walker era I guess?, Trans Kaz, Trans Male Character, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-13 00:23:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5687434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spottedotter/pseuds/spottedotter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A very self-indulgent fic about transmasculine Kaz getting a bit worked up trying to do his T shot, lucky Snake finds him in his time of need and saves the day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Making It Look Easy

This was something Kazuhira Miller was used to doing once a week, every single Saturday for years now, and yet today he still found himself sitting on the edge of his bed anxiously. Most days it was as easy as brushing his teeth, like any other routine habit. Today was harder and he wasn’t sure why. He cursed under his breath, frustrated with himself for making a bigger deal out of the situation than it was.

Usually, if he felt the nervousness creeping up while doing his testosterone injection, he’d ignore it and do the shot as quick as safely possible. Not even giving himself a chance to panic. This time, he had hesitated and apprehension crept in.

He gripped the edge of his bed tightly with one hand and the syringe with another considerably more sweaty hand. He let out a couple shaky breaths, trying to calm down and reason with himself. Maybe it was because he’d had a particularly eventful week at MSF, the increased stress could make him a bit more on edge. Maybe it was because of how long he’d been sitting there panicking about his shot instead of taking it.

No matter why Kaz was nervous, he was, and he had to get over it. His foot tapped the floor quickly in an attempt to relax his thigh muscles. Being tense as he was would only make it harder; he reprimanded himself silently for it.

All right, he had checked the medicine wasn’t expired, the dose was correct, the needle was locked tightly into the syringe, and the injection site was wiped with alcohol. Everything was clean. Everything was safe. He could do this.

He moved his leg around until he felt (mostly) comfortable after his hand moved to carefully pinch up a portion of skin. Putting his weight on the thigh he wasn’t going to stick a needle into, he slowly brought the needle closer. It hovered over the flesh almost menacingly. Kaz held the needle tight and tried not to let his hand shake. Tense air flooded into the small room. He adjusted his grip a few times, worrying about whether he was doing it properly. Looking at the sharp needle made him queasy, but he had to to make sure everything was in order. His heart started to pound dully as he questioned if the needle was at a ninety-degree angle or off even the slightest bit. He asked himself what that being wrong would result in and felt fear throb in his throat, and suddenly he was releasing his skin and dropping his hand with the syringe on the bed- surrendering to his anxious thoughts with a huff.

He tore off his sunglasses and tossed them on the bed, too, to rub at his eyes as if that would erase the stress aching in them. He sighed angrily at his own fear. He was a soldier for God’s sake! He shouldn’t be afraid of a measly shot considering the shit he went through every other day of the week. He felt dreadful knowing he had to get it done somehow and feeling like he didn’t have the strength to.

A knock on the door interrupted his self-depreciative thoughts, followed by a gruff voice calling his name as softly as it probably could. Kaz swallowed and considered pretending to be asleep to avoid embarrassment but cast that idea aside when he realised it wasn’t all that late, and his lights were still on.

“You can come in, Snake” he replied without getting up to open the door, knowing he and the other were both familiar with entering each other’s space. Snake let himself in and closed the door behind him quietly.

“You’re usually in the mess hall by now” Snake asked Kaz if he was feeling all right in his own way.

“Yeah, well…” Kaz motioned at his naked legs with the needle. He felt heat on his cheeks, not from Snake seeing him indecent of course, but the overwhelming feeling of being weak. That made him feel more vulnerable than any amount of nakedness. He breathed harshly through his nose and kept his gaze on this floor.

“Ah,” Snake nodded knowingly and walked closer to the visibly uneasy man to sit next to him, careful to mind the sunglasses there. He handed them to Kaz, knowing how much more comfortable he felt with them on. They served as a sort of shield. Kaz put them back on with a small, thankful smile.

“May I?” he held out his palm for the syringe. Kaz furrowed his brow, unsure. “Hey, I know what I’m doing. I can help” Snake reassured him.

“I…” Kaz began to speak even though he didn’t know what to say. Snake clasped a warm hand on his shoulder. He breathed out slowly as he already felt some of the anxiety melt away. “Okay,” he handed the damned thing over. He had to admit, not having it in his own hands made him feel a little better, too. Snake checked the syringe over to assure there were no bubbles in the testosterone and confirmed the cleaned injection site with Kaz. Snake leaned over him to gently pinch up his skin as it had been earlier. Kaz breathed in the other man’s familiar scent, and slowly breathed out as he calmed down.

“You ready?” he made sure Kaz was okay. He was, confirming with a nod. “All right, relax and breathe for me.” Kaz nodded again and did his best to follow his orders. He saw Snake move to hold the needle above his thigh and closed his eyes before he could get the chance to panic. Kaz focused all his thoughts on making sure his breathing was suitable, for Snake. He felt something like pride in knowing they could trust each other. He knew that trust wasn’t something that was easy for either for either of them, but in their time together at MSF the men had grown close to each other. Very close. They relied on each other, in the field, and in an emotional way as well. They definitely weren’t ones to get sappy, but made sure each other knew they cared in their own way.  Kaz thought fondly of some of the memories he had with Snake, remembering with a smirk their first of many dates on the beach. He was recalling how much they’d playfully roughhouse at the start of their relationship, when Snake interrupted him,

“All done” he announced with a careful press of a bandage to Kaz’ leg. He began to massage the muscles beneath to make sure Kaz wouldn’t be sore later.

“Oh,” Kaz had been caught up in his memories he hadn’t even felt the needle. “Thanks, Snake” he chuckled a bit, feeling a bit silly for freaking out.

“Mhm,” Snake ended the thoughtful massage with a kiss to bandage.

“Aw, boss,” Kaz teased “you’re makin’ me blush!” His cheeks did grow a little pink at Snake’s sentiment. Snake just smirked back a bit mischievously, and looked around for Kaz’ pants. Finding them, he handed them over and reminded Kaz he hadn’t been to the mess hall for dinner yet. Kaz dressed himself and followed Snake out the door, shaking his head at how easy the other man had made it. Life wasn’t always easy for either of them, but at least being together was.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! (PS why is ending fics so hard, hahaha)
> 
> Reviews and helpful crit are welcome! I could really use advice.


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